Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
