Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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