so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
