the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cockslap morals
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
