I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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