i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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