So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
