he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
