She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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