I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
