JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
