Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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