Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
