I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Please don't give away my fajitas
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
