so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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