ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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