Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
