Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
