so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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