I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
