He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
