im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
