i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
