I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize