my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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