you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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