WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
