You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
