Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
