He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
