So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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