happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize