good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
