My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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