i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
