i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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