He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
