Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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