Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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