Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
