So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize