you guys were way drunker than both of me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
