so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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