I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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