I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
