in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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