I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
