No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
