fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
