he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
