It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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