can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
