do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
