so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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