Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
