I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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