going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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