I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
