In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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