did you get engaged???
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
