Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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