A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
